Forgiveness is a gift

This year has been a mad roller-coaster of emotions. I tried out a lot of things, quite a few didn't work out and I learned a heck of a lot! The kind of things I will never do again because of all the juju it took out of me. Surprisingly though, I feel better. Did I just survive this year of epic fail-ness? Yes I did!

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Self love. I learned that there is no other love more giving and fulfilling than loving yourself. The love I hoped to find elsewhere is within me all this time. I am whom I seek.

Roads to take. What will I be? I am as confused as ever. I am still working on it. I recognize time is ticking so I need to work twice as hard. I know who I want to be and that's what I will keep on aiming for.

Reality. Dreaming is good but reality is better. Let your mind soar but don't let it sit in the clouds too long. Start small and believe in the beauty of your dreams.

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Before I enter the new year I want to focus on forgiveness and making amends for all the wrong choices I made. For all the times I let myself fracture and break into pieces. Forgiveness after all is a gift you give your self.

Thinking out loud

Lately it feels like my world is all about my work and my future. I haven't had the time nor the energy to do the things that make my spirit soar. Yes my work fills a different void inside me and I love that I finally feel some sense of purpose in where I am right now professional wise.

I guess I just want to feel the wind on my face, see things behind the lens again. I want to travel, go on book signings, art shows, music gigs etcetera.

It's no use lamenting over it really. If there is one thing I have learned in the last two years, it is this: powerful thinking gets stuff done! I am sure if I want something bad enough I'm gonna get it. And if life get's stingy well then other doors will open for me.

So what am I saying really? Weed out mindless consumption. Don't spend time on urgent stuff else you forget the important ones.

xx Art from Pinto Museum

Life recently 38

A whole new way of living started for me this August. I went back to school and got a new job. (｡◕‿‿◕｡)ﾉシ SPELL busy! I'm super woman lately. haha

I'm learning a lot from both. I now realize that my past mindset was mediocre. I tried to do my job well but I missed the whole point by light years. It's not about getting used to what you're doing. It's about learning and having passion for your job.
Yesterday was especially hard. I broke down from too much stress. I am looking at it as growing pains. The usual way I'm doing things is no longer effective. I need to adapt in order to excel. It's a really hard process but I am positive I will make it through fine as the days go by.

1. It's really nice to wake up in the wee hours of the morning to go to work. I love dayshift!
2. My weapons in life ;)
3. The way I deal with stress is food binge! Ugh I already gained 5kgs and it won't budge!
4. Words of wisdom in the most unlikely place.
5. Knowledge is a path to a better place.

Find your Courage

In line with my plans for the next 3-5 years of my life – focused on investing in myself – I have gone back to school. It's quite exciting really, being back after so many years. The understanding comes easy. Though I have a lot to re-learn.

Why go back you ask? For the very same reason we read books. We want to learn. We want to expand our thinking beyond the four corners of our room. I was guilty of the mentality "I'm too old for school". Like there is a set range of years to be in it. But now that I have gained a wider perspective, that kind of thinking – I realize – is mediocre. We have one life to live. Are we really prepared to spend it un-lived?

I prepared for this great leap months ahead. I also work full time so I had to really put effort into it. I knew what needs to be done and where to go. Actually doing it though is another thing. I had to find my courage. I woke up one morning, put on a nice pair of shoes and dove right into it. Sometimes overthinking doesn't get you anywhere. Find your courage.

Take back your life

The day you want to change for someone is the day you lose yourself. Change for your own growth and not as a distorted notion that someone will love you if you are a certain way.

I know it's hard not to feel insecure when you are in tune to your weaknesses. Then you have to deal with rejection and comparison. It's a recipe for self-doubt and a major blow to your self-esteem. I know it feels like hell.

I find there are only two things you must do:

Remove yourself from the situation. When your self-worth is in danger. Save yourself. Run! It's non-negotiable. We often learn it the hard way. We push and try to wring the connection dry as a sad attempt to experience something that wasn't there from the beginning. We go rock bottom - no - scratch that, we were the dirt beneath the layer of dust underneath the rock. We had nothing left because we gave all our love away even our dignity and self-respect.

Take back your life and grow it to something you're proud of. Improve on your strengths, fix your weaknesses, and keep on learning. The only approval you will always need is your own.

I am going to take back my life. I am my own savior, my own hero, the fierce protagonist of my own triumphant story. I'm a heroine who didn't wait around to be saved. :)

What I'm reading:

To The Women Whose Lives Are Not Love Stories
It’s Time To Take Your Life Back From What Broke You

Focus on the journey

"Focus on the journey and not the destination". How often have we heard this. Sometimes words come to us but we only fully comprehend it until we badly need its wisdom. Since I started changing my life, I became the kind of person obsessed with goals and adventures. I have a list for everything. I find fulfillment in ticking them off one by one. While we should definitely aim for goal-oriented adventures, most of the time I get so preoccupied with success and reaching a goal that I forget I should also be placing equal importance towards learning and personal growth.

We must never hinge our self-worth on that one final goal. We are always changing. We are endlessly creating ourselves. Therefore our goals and our methods should be just as flexible. :)

What I'm reading:

The Problem with being goal-oriented

I am endlessly creating myself

These days I devour words like a madman. I find peace in the thought that I'm taking steps to make good changes in my life. My goal is to be a better version of myself. Of course there should be an equal amount of action too that is why I can't wait to start with my goals and plans for April until July.

I'm sure there will be days of struggle and lack of motivation. I used to resent these moments but now I find they are the times I need to fight harder. I am made stronger in times of difficulty. Self-doubt is my current greatest struggle. Since I am taking a different path than most people perceive as normal, it's hard to stay unaffected when I see their blank faces (especially when it comes from my family). I need to learn not to be so defensive all the time. After all I don't need to explain my choices nor seek their approval. It is my life and I am confident in my dreams. :)

© Wings - Art by Raphael Louis Reyes

Chase the Sun

Welcome Summer 2015! Can you feel it?! Beach weather has definitely settled in.~

I admit I don't usually enjoy summer because I get terrible migraines and my skin condition becomes all the more prominent. This time though I want to enjoy it. There is much to see and to accomplish.

I'm thinking of wandering a bit more. Another beach maybe or a culture tour? Also, come May, I'll be joining a 10k marathon. I haven't had any training in months! *haha* I'm so unfit. I discovered just how unfit I am when we did an Amazing Race as finals exam for my Nihongo class. It was funny but also very alarming. I thought I was going to pass out! It's about time I start working out again. Not just that, running helps my mind focus. Suddenly everything seems possible.

I am going to be stronger. Instead of hiding safely in the shadows, I will chase the sun. I will master the chaos inside me :).

Live an inspired life

Make plans. Don't settle on plan A. Explore plans B to Z. We have plenty of time and life is filled with many possibilities. Be open to change and failures. Say YES often, you never know where that yes will lead you. ;)

Live the life you love. Love the life you live. - Bob Marley

Invest in yourself

How many times have I found myself frustrated thinking about my life's endless possibilities. What do I choose? Who will I become? Though I believe that we must "Focus on one thing and do it well.", fortunately we have plenty of time to try and learn as much as we can. So go ahead and invest in yourself. Learn everything and spend a lifetime being good at the things that truly inspire you.

I'm back to studying Nihongo!!! (^-^)/

This time I'm going to see through it till the end. #determined

Go your own way

This is for the countless little plans in my head...Dreams I run after, now with more passion,...and for my vision of how I want to live my life. Go your own way.

Do not be afraid to pursue your dreams however different they may be from the normal aka rat race.

On the other hand, there is really nothing wrong with running along the same path as most people. Just make sure your choices are steps towards your own growth and fullfillment. I recognize my lack of skills and resources and so I am running the rat race but I know I will not be doing this forever. I am where I am because this is where I need to be at the moment.

Just experience all that you can. Grow. Improve. Invest in yourself. :)

Seize the day!

At some point in our lives we all put up a facade of how happy we all live, how interesting our lives are, how life is just oh so perfect. At the end of the day you're still you and if everything is just for show, what kind of life are you really living?

Shed your masks. Cast them away. Really live your life. :)



So I'm finally back! I come back refreshed and with a better mindset about this blogging thing and with my life in general. I used to blog what I wanted to do and what I forced myself to do. Now.....I'm writing what I did and more importantly how passionately I pursued it. ;)

Grow where you are planted

Often I find myself complaining about my job, of various little things I feel discontent with. I fail to notice that I am where I am because that is where I need to be at the moment. That I always have the power to remove the invisible shackles I (or society) put on myself. I am not a victim.

I am the Master of my fate. I am the Captain of my soul.

Don't settle. Move forward but don't forget to grow where you are planted. :)

Herb and Dorothy Vogel

I first heard about them through a video shared by Mansy. They own over 4000 artworks all from a librarian and postman salary (well technically it's just from Herb's salary, they used Dorothy's for living expenses).

There are 2 movies made about them.The first one, as told by the couple, friends, family and the artists they bought from, narrates how they got the artworks. It's a nice story about passion and living your life the way you like it and not following certain rules. They could have bought a larger apartment, traveled the world or became insanely rich but they didn't. They chose to buy and admire art. They didn't sell any of the art they acquired even when the artists made a big name for themselves. Instead they donated all their artworks to the national gallery as well as 50 pieces for every state in the US. Inspiring the creation of the second movie which I have yet to watch.





They taught me that anything is possible if you really love what you're doing. So now I'm slowly collecting artwork as well. So far I have 6 original artworks from local artists. Some have been quite expensive but some are very affordable. I'm planning to create an art fund so it doesn't burn through my savings (it is starting to lol) it can get addictive especially when you really like the work. I bought this one work from an artist and it is by far the most expensive piece of my collection, if I'm going to base it on the other works I acquired it is waaaaay too expensive but its the kind of work that will bring me sleepless nights if I don't take it so yeah I bought it. Now I have 2 months worth of debt to my savings >.< .

The Moth podcast

I found this podcast shared by one of my friends on twitter. But I forgot who it was sorry I can't credit you at the moment. （￣◇￣)ゞ

I think it's because I watch videos all the time, I miss just listening to someone talk. I love that this podcast celebrates the art of simple but powerful everyday stories. Some stories are funny, some are meant to inspire, while some will make you cry.

The Moth is an acclaimed not-for-profit organization dedicated to the art and craft of storytelling.

Here are some of my favorites from the filmed series of The Moth.

▲ After landing her dream job in Paris, Joan Juliet Buck, the new editor of French Vogue, is haunted in her dream apartment.

Joan Juliet Buck is an American born writer, social critic, and performer, who also edited Paris VOGUE for seven years. She has also appeared in several films and documentaries, and is the co-founder of wowowow, a daily internet website created for "fabulous women of substance."

There are more behind the cut and also from iTunes (you can download those on the links below *scroll* *scroll* )

BC Bloggers Meme: 5 Inspirational Quotes I live by

It's official. I'm addicted to blog meme's!!! BC Bloggers has one every week and I want to join all of them but I got to blog about other stuff too! *laughs*

Rochelle of Running Vibrant is hosting this week's topic "5 inspirational Quotes you live by". I love her blog. I'm probably the most excited when she announced she's going on an exchange program to Korea. HOW AWESOME IS THIS?!

Anyhow, on to this post. *lol got sidetracked sorry* I'm only listing 4 quotes although I like many and spam my SNS accounts with them. I am quick to fall in love with words. That's really why I read a lot. But I'm surprised myself, it turns out these 4 are the ones I believe in the most.

From "How to be Alone" poem by Tanya Davis.

See full poem here: heyladyspring tumblr

See full quote here: heyladyspring tumblr

See full quote here: Andy Warhol

I post my other favorite quotes on tumblr. Please check them out :)

[Read my previous posts: Things that make me happy / 5 Money saving tips] Join our blog community and meet awesome people!

Photos and edits © heyladyspring / Please include link of my site when re-posting!

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Overcoming seemingly insuperable barrier

So I'm back from my 1 day trip. I didn't have time to think because I slept all throughout both bus trips. *kamusta naman!* Yesterday was a whirlwind of emotion. I just went with it. Now I'm trying to deal with the excess emotion. This is me eternally confused.

I'm playing this over and over again to remind myself what I should be doing instead of moping around and feeling all sorts of feelings.

And while I'm stuck, I find posts like this from Vera: The Holstee Manifesto. Isn't that amazing? It's like the universe is helping me out.

This post is part of the Musings series where I share stories of inspiring people, culture, concepts and beliefs.

Feel free to browse my other posts and leave your comments. See you! ( ＾-＾)/★*☆

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What is a Mori Girl

I used to live by the mantra "Life too loud you can't hear it anymore" it was a quote from KC Concepcion's old magazine interview. I admired her because she was out there living her life to the fullest. (she still is!!!) She inspired me to live an active lifestyle. Always seeking adventures, always trying to learn new things.

I still have the same state of mind but I have gone more mellow. My interpretation of that phrase changed as well. A loud life need not be crazy or flashy. It can be a calm sort of sound that echoes forever and ever. /end cheese!

It seems, I was already a Mori girl at heart even before I learned of the concept. Though I won't label myself a mori girl (yet) because I respect the culture for what it is. Its a totality. Its a way of life. On the other hand, its really not necessary to label yourself with anything. You can just be you. ^-^; Anyway, I am sticking with "fascinated with the mori lifestyle" phrase because its less burdening this way.

Mori girls (森ガール) belong to a fashion subculture which began in Japan. 'Mori' means forest in Japanese (...) they are girls who look like they live in the forest.

(...)Mori girls choose to live their lives on their own terms, stopping to appreciate the little things that others overlook amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life(...)

Mori girls are also characterized by certain attitudes to life. While most mori girls really live in the city, they maintain a pace of life that may be considered slow by others, preferring to stop and savor the tiny delights that many deem insignificant. Mori girls like to explore old neighborhoods, discover hole-in-the-wall shops and read in cafes. Many mori girls enjoy expressing their creativity, never mind if nobody will see or applaud their efforts, for instance through photography or writing journals(...)

In her own quiet way, the mori girl is an individualist. She does not care that the world may live differently from her. She lives consciously and chooses her own lifestyle. The mori girl often looks whimsical or quirky (...) While she may enjoy the company of others, the mori girl loves her own company and indeed has embarked on many of her most memorable adventures alone.

—source: morigirl

Live Learn Grow

“Get moving. Get outside. Smell the trees. Breath the fresh air.
Seek the things that fulfill you then share that knowledge
to inspire others to do the same. Live. Learn. Grow.”

LLG collection is a clothing company inspiring young women to live life and seize the day.

This post is part of the Musings series where I share stories of inspiring people, culture, concepts and beliefs.

Feel free to browse my other posts and leave your comments. See you! ( ＾-＾)/★*☆

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I miss my Mom!

I saw this video shared by Ms. Daphne. It made me think of my Mom. She went to NY when I was in high school. Since then we have not spent Christmas together - 10 years! That's why although I like the Christmas season, I don't like the actual Christmas day itself. After attending a number of pre-Christmas parties, going home to an empty house is painful. I used get invited at a friend's house or my relatives but after a while it became too troublesome so I just spent it alone.

These are things I can't change so I have learned to just accept things as they are. Still I wish all our worries will go away so my Mom can finally come home for good.

Love you & Merry Christmas Mom! *sniff*

note: YES its a viral campaign. My take on this is, the company could have done the usual giveaway, raffle, promo etc., but they chose this kind of campaign. Result is it brought 3 families together this Christmas. For some it may not be much, for others it means the whole world.

This post is part of the Musings series where I share stories of inspiring people, culture, concepts and beliefs.

Feel free to browse my other posts and leave your comments. See you! ( ＾-＾)/★*☆

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